Meet Chagaz from Kilimanjaro!

This is what they say about us, Chaggaz from Kilimanjaro, I had no comments coz na mimi ni mtuhumiwa!!

I always knew that getting married to a Chagga woman is a headache,
especially if you are a kyasaka (Kyasaka is a Chagga name for any
person who is not a mChagga) – but my girlfriend's dad took the cake
and the cherry on top! The cream even!
With a mchagga father one never wins! You see, most Chagga parents
don't believe in inter-marriage. When the topic of marriage comes up
they will always insist that home is always best. In fact some
parents are so fast at hooking their children up!

"When is daughter coming back? Is she done with her law degree? My
nephew is just about to finish his doctorate. Maybe we should
introduce them when they get back from overseas."

Naturally when you hear degrees, overseas and such arrangements it
only means prominent families – with names and clout. Anyway, so
there they were, the two of them, sharing that father-daughter
moment. They used to have that, those two.
So my girlfriend brings up the topic that makes any possessive Dad
freeze. But since they always had that bond, he was down with
whatever.

"If I ever get married I will get married to a Mzungu," she
announces.
"Where from?"
"Hmm, say German."
"No, his parents will always make you feel like a second class
citizen."
"England?"
"They will never see past your race and colour."
"Okay, an African then."
"Great! At least we are home. But where from?"
"Okay, South Africa?"
"They will abuse you."
"West Africa?"
"They will probably sell you for your organs."
"North Africa?"
"They will put you in a harem."
"East Africa then."
"Great! At least we are home."
"Hmm, Uganda?"
"Uwii! HIV/AIDS!"
"Kenya?"
"They will harass you!"


"Jamani wapi sasa?" my girlfriend had started the topic to get at
her Dad, but now the tables had turned around. She was getting
highly agitated.
"How about home?" Her dad offered.
"Okay, how about Wagogo?" She asks about the tribe from Dodoma.
"Omba omba wale. You will be as poor as a church mouse!"
"Wahaya then?"
"They are too arrogant!"
"Wapare?"
"They like sex too much!"
My girlfriend giggles at this, thinking – as if there is something
wrong with that. The dad seeing his daughter's reaction gives
another point quickly.
"And they are misers!"
"Okay, Wakurya?"
"You'll be beaten black and blue!"
"Wasukuma then?"
"They will fatten you up and force you to bleach your skin and every
time is wageni time and kitchen is always busy and your husband's
village mate is your close relative when you succeed."
"Okay, I take it you will be happy if I got married to a mChagga?"
"That's what I have always been telling you!"
"WaKibosho?"
"They will beat you black and blue!"
"WaUru?"
"Very smart, educated but no maendeleo. You husband might end-up
being a shoe shiner with a pHd."
"WaMachame?"
"Wachawi! They can even bewitch the dead!"
"Wa-Old Moshi?"
"Washamba!" He spits on the ground, "they are so ignorant they don't
know the difference between a cell phone and a remote control."
"WaMarangu?"
"They are too arrogant!"
"Okay, so I guess you will be happy if I married someone from our
village."
"Absolutely, " he smiles. "But they are too …"
"I hear you, dad," my girlfriend interrupts, "someone from the same
community then?"
"Which clan though?"
"The Temba's?"
"The great grandmother was a witch."
"The Macha's?"
"I hear the aunt's cousin's sister's son's father was a mental case.
Your children might inherit it."
"The Mushi's?"
"They are thieves. They are so bad that they even steal their very
own livestock - jamani!"
"The Temu's?"
"They haven't gone to school!"
"Okay, I guess you will be happy if it was from the same street
then?"
"Absolutely! " The dad replies with a grin, "but which family
though?"

Kweli marrying a Chagga can be a greatest pain….
jamani, is it true??
mdau

Think twice Jo kabla ya kuja kwetu though ukitia timu, kupata maendeleo ni must!! Teh teh teh teheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee